Extra Credits: Sex

Sex. Sex. Sex. Why do we find it so fascinating? I think it is because it one of those things that aren't to be discussed. Sex is seen as an "adult" activity, and off limits for discussion. That's what makes it so interesting. It's off limits, and restricted. If you tell someone they can't know about something, they won't rest until they find out about it. Sex will always be controversial, therefore it will always be a subject of interest. But it's not just about sex. Sex is just the act that shows the physical aspect of a relationship. There is also sexuality which adds more to the personality and rationale behind a character, and intimacy, which shows the emotional connection that comes with a relationship.

In the 1960's sex wasn't a topic openly discussed. As said in The Help, wearing a skirt that showed your knee caps was considered scandalous. While sex isn't a issue in The Help, sexuality is mentioned. Miss Skeeter's mother takes concerns that Skeeter is a lesbian, when she isn't interested in getting married right away. She even goes as far as to give her "sexual-correction tea" to cure her of her disinterest in men. Clearly this shows that in the society Miss Skeeter lives in, being homosexual is a extreme faux-paux, and is looked down upon. Acceptance into the society was affected by sexuality during this time. Even though Miss Skeeter is heterosexual, the aspect of stressing out her mother, by letting her make her own assumption was too good to pass up. I find it ironic that in both their time and our current time, pretending to be gay is a sure way to give your parents a coronary.

Sex and intimacy is lacking in The Help. Most married couple don't openly express their love for one another, although judging by the number of kids being born, sex does in fact exist. Miss Skeeter is slowing gaining a relationship with a senator's son, but she still keeps him at arm's length. Basically what is expressed in The Help, is that sex is not a talked about issue. That's reflective of the conservative society they lived in. Mississippi is a part of the "Bible belt," which consist of the southeastern states. Sex and sexuality is considered sinful in the very religious society they are apart of. And that is shown by the absence of sex in the book.

However, in A Lesson Before Dying Grant found much comfort in his relationship with Vivian. When he had sex with her, he felt whole. But I think that's more than just the pleasure of sex he felt, but the intimacy he felt with her. The emotional connection he had with her, was one the one thing to keep him grounded most of the time. He even admitted, what kept him in the town he was in, was Vivian. Their intimacy played a key role in how Grant dealt with his frustrations after his visits with Jefferson. I see that as showing how Grant is more of a logical thinker than a believer. He struggles with his belief in God because there is no concrete proof. But his physical relationship with Vivian, gives him something he can actually touch to connect the feeling of love with. And I think that one of the reason why he is able to open himself to love, with Vivian, his aunt, and Jefferson.

Both novels take place during a time of sexual explorations. That, of course, varies by the region, as shown in the books. In A Lesson Before Dying, Louisiana is more open to the new times, where sex isn't something to be ashamed of. But The Help, set in Mississippi, isn't open to the idea of sex being public knowledge. I find both views fitting for the society we live in today. While sex and sexuality is broadcasted all over the media, there are still people who find the discussion of sex inappropriate. Overall society is more accepting of the openness of sexuality, but there will always be those people who find it uncomfortable.