July 12, 2011
Page 218
"...They sent you to school to relieve pain, to relieve hurt - and if you have to lie to do it, then you lie..."
-Reverend Ambrose to Grant while trying to convince him to lie to Jefferson
When you picture a pastor, you don't picture a liar, but that's exactly what Reverend Ambrose is telling Grant he is. He thinks it is better to lie to ease people's grief than it is to tell the truth. This is where I believe Jefferson's line of thinking has been this whole book. He lies to himself, and to others, saying he's a hog to ease their grief. But now that he is getting to know Grant, who only wants to speak the truth, he doesn't want to lie. He wants to be honest with himself and with others. He's done lying to relieve people of grief, because the only way for Jefferson and the people who care about him can heal, is to grieve.
So what exactly is the importance of this lie, and how can the truth benefit or be more costly?
ReplyDeleteThere is two sides to this
ReplyDeleteLying would be beneficial because it would ease the hurt people have. It's a common practice for us, telling people what they need to hear to make them feel better. i.e. "that haircut looks great," or "no, your butt doesn't look too big in those jeans." In those cases it's easier to let people believe what they need to, to help them get through the day.
But that brings us to why it's hurtful. Something it sets people up for even more heartbreak, when they find out what you told them is not really true. And then if they find out you intentionally lie, it makes things even worse because then they lose trust in you.
So maybe that's why Jefferson doesn't trust the Reverend. Ambrose clearly says he lies to people, and just tells them what they need to hear. Possibly Jefferson has just figured out one too many of his lie to believe what he has to say anymore. But Grant never lied to him, so he gained Jefferson's trust. That's probably why Jefferson was more readily able to talk to Grant than he was the Reverend, because he trusted him.
....."no your butt doesn't look too big in those jeans" hilarious...
ReplyDeleteAh okay, so the lie is...almost like a band aid on a gushing wound. It's a placebo. Sadly when the other party sees that this temporary solution isn't working (or true) they are hurt that someone they trusted lied to them. Cool.